Are there any signs by which you can definitely predict that the relationship can no longer be saved? Moreover, that they should not be saved, but you just need to let go of the past and make room for something new?
Some unions are doomed to failure. It is unpleasant to think that your relationship has expired, but it happens. Working with pairs, the specialists of the Gottman Institute are trying to increase and preserve love in the world. But sometimes we help partners part and forget about each other, so that in the future they can find the love they need.
Professor John Gottman himself admitted – if he could give one vital advice to himself at a young age, he would say the following: “As soon as possible, stop the girls who hurt you”. Why prolong the pain if you can leave this relationship behind and find a suitable person?
Do not try to save marriage at all costs. It will be much better to realize the truth about relationships and determine
the best way for moving forward. Even if it involves a break in old relationships and the search for a new partner who can satisfy our needs.
Saving hopeless relations is not only stupid, but also dangerous. I myself was once in such a union. Our relationship has captured the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: criticism, contempt, protective behavior and ignoring. They manifested themselves on a daily basis, constantly oppressing me and my girl. Their swords and arrows inflicted incurable wounds on us, but we continued to hold on to these relations. We tried to save them until they finally collapsed.
The emotional experience that we received in the process was highly painful and traumatic. He undermined my ability to get closer to other people for a long time. Four years have passed since then, and the consequences of a severe rupture are still making themselves felt.
Even Cupid, an angel in the image of a baby, whom we associate with love, was not so “sweet” in ancient Greek mythology.
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