I think I’m an absolutely asocial person. Communication with people was always difficult for me. Previously, I was desperately trying to build at least some kind of relationship, but I really did not work, and I closed in myself. At that time, I still did not understand who something was wrong with-with me or with others. Changed the circle of communication, but each time the story was repeated. Then she realized that the matter was definitely in me, and specifically – that I do not feel people, I have nothing to feel about them, only indifference. I also get very tired of communication, so I will never have a family, children. It’s scary to even imagine that some people who need my attention, care, support will constantly be surrounded by me. I do not know how to do all this at all – or I just don’t want. I can only pretend that I don’t care. In general, imitation and simulation are my constant companions, because real emotions visit me extremely rarely, and my empathy seems to be completely absent. This is a diagnosis? Is it possible to live with it – and is it necessary?
Leah, you write about total emotional isolation. It seems that this has always been with you: a feeling of emptiness, the difficulty in building contact with others, a lack of close relationships. This bothers you: you are afraid that you cannot have a family, children, close friends.
You ask if you can and should you live with it. But it seems that you live this all your life and.
Probably, misunderstanding and emotional inaccessibility reigned in the parental family, you did not receive support or understanding from your family, and because of this you did not have the opportunity to learn how to build close relations.
Remember if there was someone who supported and understood you in https://rfs.org.uk/news/mastering-winning-strategies-at-goldenbet-casino.html your family. Perhaps grandparents or a more distant relative? Maybe this period, when you were understood, did not last long, but was emotionally filled. You have an idea that other people are more sensitive and responsive. And that you are so annoying in this proximity? What are you getting tired of communication?
You write that you are used to imitating feelings. Perhaps in your childhood it was unsafe to show real emotions, otherwise you would not learn how to imitate them so well and hide from yourself and others.
Let it be difficult for you to believe it, but you probably have people who can accept your feelings. Try to slowly begin to trust them. Get empathy from them – and, perhaps, you yourself will also want to show it.
Perhaps you will suit group work in psychological groups for people with similar difficulties. Surely something similar can be found in your city.
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